Diary Internet Saya :)

Alhamdulillah Allah still bagi hidayah to me. to get back on track. focus on my mental health, physical health, my career and my family. im so grateful

I will try to be consistent on my exercise and tarawih. sebab harini dah 11 ramadhan rasanya. so i dont want my ramadhan to go to waste. 

alhamdulillah, thank you allah for this hidayah. may i come back stronger. healthier. fitter. more positive. 

Tomorrow im gonna meet my client at 11am. he wants further add his investment. alhamdulillah, dia yang cari aku. thank you Allah for this rezeki.

Many more coming. I want to focus on myself, get back on track, do many calls meet many clients, do what i love, create more contents, write more. InshaAllah.

i feel like im stuck in this circle of bangun, tidur...siang. berbuka. main game or do something else. and its been going for about 2 weeks. i have no motivation at all to do work. i dont know why. it seems like i have lost my clarity. i know i should be doing what i should do. but i feel stuck. like.. i dont know why i have no energy to go to office. even when i arrive at the office, walaupun i dah siap makeup apa semua but i still rasa i can go back. walaupun dah waste 30 mins to go to office. partly i think sbb i dont like tempat yg malap. i rasa macam takde energy. then it keeps on rolling. sampailah sekarang.. should i just bring my lamp? i dont know. but i feel like i want to but this lamp is so big. i need to buy a small one. maybe tengahari esok.

esok maybe i come and tunjuk muka. at least i come. maybe partly because i already have 20k. because of last month's flowover. it should be 30k last month. but yeah. things didnt go as planned because tak sempat disbursed before cut off. i feel so bad because i have high expectations of myself. i know i need to be present for myself, for my team, and for other people. like i cant be selfish and think of my own je. but at the same time my body feels... urhghh i dont know what to say. my mind tak centered. like i can just ignore everything but what are the consequences? i cannot do that to my upline. i know i shouldnt do it. ah.. but i dont know why my body macam ni.. maybe because i have been eating for berbuka 2 kali tambah nasi and malam makan lagi. rasa macam.. ntahla macam tak kena. pastu sahur tidur balik. bangun lewat jadi lambat pergi kerja. haihh. i know i shouldnt be like this. i need to get myself out of this rut. FAST. but i know i have to keep it slowly.  its okay, aku buat call esok sampai pukul 12 only. and then aku ciao. im sorry. but it takes quite some time for me to get back on track. i dont know what i need to do but i dont like sleeping after sahur because my brain jadi macam penat. so i might stop that first. tomorrow, aku sahur, solat subuh, siap pegi office, attend morningizer, buat call until 11-12. then aku belah. kena bawak extra kasut esok untuk try baju . tengoklah kalau ada mood. but fuck this feeling man.

I am not sure why im feeling like this. Kalau perasan whenever i feel bad or down mesti aku tulis kat blog. Actually i feel bad for myself, for not being inspired or motivated, when i know i should be like that. I have a lot of big goals that are still yet to be achieved, but here I am right now. I am not sure why i feel like this. But i think sebab lately ni hari hari makan junk food, so i read that it will affect my mood cuz of imbalance sugar levels etc. And today i wanna start eating healthy again . and by healthy i mean - NO junk food. for a week? Lets try. but i still need to recover fast from this pain because it will affect me n people surrounding me.

Hello everyone assalamualaikum ^^. Alhamdulillah i'm getting better day by day.. demam dah makin kebah, i feel more energetic than the previous day, i feel more hopeful. and also abah pun makin sihat alhamdulillah, tak pakai bekalan oxygen dah, and SpO2 dia pun stabil. Cumanya tak keluar lagi lah dari hospital. Gotta make sure yang betul2 dah sihat baru boleh keluar. Disebabkan abah dah makin sihat, i am more motivated to do my work. Kalau tak rasa down sangat. Tak de motivation nak buat benda apa pun, just nak abah sihat je. Tapi since abah pun dah start reply whatsapp, angkat call, baru ada semangat balik nak start kerja. Since I'm a unit trust consultant, I have to find and help someone to invest baru I get paid. If no sales = no money. I have to get back on track. I have to win the Top New UTC Champion Nationwide 2022 with RM10,000,000 Sales. I have to. I NEED TO. and winners gotta get back on track. and Losers complain. 

Honestly I just want to get better than the old me. I want to get better day by day. I want to be the best version of myself today than yesterday. I don't want to compete with anyone else. I am progressing at my own pace. I am moving at my own pace. I will get what I want eventually at my own pace. Everyone's journey is different. '

It's not about how fast we get there, it's about the climb' - Miley Cyrus.

I CAN DO THISS!!!! CAIYYOK FITRIE!!! KEEP ON MOVINGGGG!!! FAILING IS BETTER THAN NO PROGRESS!! ASALKAN BUAT SAMPAI JADI!!

Hi. these past few weeks have been like hell to me. My dad just got covid19 and he's unvaccinated. it fell like my whole world falling apart. Don't ask me why he's not vaccinated, believe me i have already pushed him to get the vaccine but yeah he was so scared of the vaccine [because he has sakit jantung & darah tinggi]. So now he's in HKL after i sent him to the hospital with my lil bro after we found out that he's oxygen meter was below 95. Thankfully we did. Because now my dad uses the bekalan oxygen. and he initally wanted to stay at home after we asked him to go to hospital with us. Please pray for my dad's health recovery.

Not to mention that I also had a fever ( and still has ) for about a week now. I feel so bad because I'm not at my best potential and i can't do my job because i have a cough so it affects and changes my voice. and also, who wants to be around with someone that's sick and potentially could have covid? omicron cases are getting crazy.

I guess I have to push myself to get better faster because I need to do my job. Because I have a lot of bigger dreams I need to achieve in this year. I'll take it as a challenge to earn a lot with my current situation. I guess God won't test you unless you can actually face it.

I just need to change my mindset. Right now, I feel like I just don't care about my dreams. All I'm worried about is my dad's health. but I can't live this way. I'm sabotaging myself. I need to change. Fast.

Till then.

Hi. Today i feel so sluggish. Lately weather macam asyik hujan and mendung, and susah gila nak bangun awal pagi. Kalau bangun awal pagi pun tak semangat. I rasa i kena ubah sleeping schedule, sebab asyik tido pukul 12-1 macam tu, tu pun bukan terus tido tapi main phone dulu. Paling lambat pun pukul 2. Memang susahlaaaaa. 

I kena ubah tido awal so then i bangun pagi semangat and tahu goals i apa everyday!!! Caiyokkk!! I dahla dalam transitioning period ni >.< so yeah a bit uncomfortable but kinda excited for my new career.

I'll give myself 6 months to prove myself that I can do it, if i put my mind into it. I saw on twitter there's this one tweet:

If we put our mind into it im sure we can do this!!! 🤩